This topic has really been a tough one for me! I have been thinking about it for months and just could not bring myself to write about it because I am so lousy at forgiving and moving on with life. I hold grudges and I bring it up often to feel sorry for myself and justify my own selfish actions. We taught our kids......"Do not return evil for evil." But as adults, we do it often and always justify it. I have struggled with this issue in both my business life and personal life for all of my life and I seldom have victory over it.
Don Henley is right in "Heart of the Matter"...........
Ah, these times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
Has anyone ever been gracious and forgiving to you when you least deserved it? How did it make you feel? How did you react? Were you humbled? Humiliated? Surprised? Thankful? And yet, often we can't forgive those who have hurt and disappointed us. We carry grudges and we won't let them go. I am struggling with that issue right now with family and friends and as I said earlier, I seem to seldom have victory over it.
Henley says more......................
There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down, you know, they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you Baby, cause life goes on
If you keep carryin' anger, it'll eat you up inside, Baby.
I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about Forgiveness, Forgiveness
Even if, even if, you don't love me.
So Forgiveness is a Decision.....YOUR Decision......MY Decision..............but if you don't do it, that sore spot will fester, turn cancerous, and eat your organs from within, primarily your heart. Do you know any older, cynical people who continue to tell the same old, cynical stories of how they got shafted and why they are entitled? Entitled to sue, entitled to hold the grudge for life, entitled to complain about their "lot in life", entitled to be miserable and make others the same. By the Grace of God, I do not want to live that lonely life of cynicism and negativity so I am remembering, almost every day, how much I have been forgiven and it is humbling.
So Forgiveness is a Decision.....YOUR Decision......MY Decision..............but if you don't do it, that sore spot will fester, turn cancerous, and eat your organs from within, primarily your heart. Do you know any older, cynical people who continue to tell the same old, cynical stories of how they got shafted and why they are entitled? Entitled to sue, entitled to hold the grudge for life, entitled to complain about their "lot in life", entitled to be miserable and make others the same. By the Grace of God, I do not want to live that lonely life of cynicism and negativity so I am remembering, almost every day, how much I have been forgiven and it is humbling.
..............and by the Grace of God, I am tearing up, piece by piece, those "records of wrongs", and being freed up to love and forgive others!!!
Make a Decision..................Go Forgive someone today!
aww, good post Dad! Good to hear your thoughts on these matters :)
ReplyDeleteThis ties into our longterm perspective on life... It seems that we are more likely to rid ourselves of the subtle cancer of bitterness and unforgiveness if we are holding onto the things of this world loosely... Our possessions, job, friends, grades, etc. If we can view these these as transient and recognize our position as stewards and not owners... God help us with this "if."
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Keith! It is hard to let go of those pet grudges. My aunt was lying in a nursing home bed at age 85, totally crippled from osteoporosis and yet when I visited her, all she could talk about was that her brother and sister go to go to college and she didn't (family could not afford it). God keep us from that kind of bitterness, and give us thankful hearts. Every single time those thoughts come, gotta cast down those imaginations.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your struggles, Keith. God has been merciful to this sinner. Two things are helping me with the struggle of keeping track of wrongs and both of them are an indirect benefit of being a sinner. First, I am reminded of the ways that I have harmed others through direct offenses and neglect. The second is the recognition that I myself have usually played a part in the destruction of these relationships.
ReplyDeleteKeep 'em coming, brother!