Have you ever told a lie? Well..........if you answered No to that question.......you just told a lie. Liars are everywhere. You work with them, you buy used cars from them, you laugh with them, you cry with them, you eat, drink and be merry with them, you go to church with them, you sleep with them, you fight with them, you raise them, they raise you, you love them, you hate them, you forgive them, you hold grudges against them.............
Have you ever wondered why so many of us lie on a regular basis?? It is so easy and convenient, isn't it? Notice, I said "us", since I am a liar too. I have lied to my family, wife, friends, employers, mother, father, sister and brother and others I do not remember. Its just too damn easy, especially when the chances of getting caught are quite low. And of course, everyone does it so why not? But does it make you feel good? How do you feel after telling a bold face lie? Or even a little white lie? Do you feel better about yourself? "Well, I really pulled one over on her. What a vulnerable, unsuspecting idiot!" Do you feel superior? Justified? Smarter? Better? More Powerful? I guess some people get a rush from it.
Have you ever been lied to? Ever caught someone in a lie? I will never forget when I was about 17. My father went back home to Alabama and bought a VW Beetle with low miles and brought it back to Georgia. He was so proud of it because he got a great deal. We drove it about a week and soon it began to fall apart and we realized that the 78k miles was more like 278k. The Alabama Used Car Dealer had turned back the odometer and lied to my Dad. He was furious to say the least as well as humiliated and drove the car back to Alabama and demanded his money back. Of course he got it back! He was part Comanche. They called him "Animal" on the High School football team not to mention he was a highly decorated, Special Forces Green Beret for one year in Korea and four years in Vietnam.
We all feel ripped off when we are lied to. Taken advantage of and used like a rag! It doesn't feel good. It surely doesn't build trust and love and respect. You feel betrayed, hurt deep inside. Some of us feel angry, vengeful and unloved. But telling lies is infectious and addictive. You get away with one little lie, it is so much easier to tell another and then another and then another. You get lost in lie after lie and you forget you are lying. You convince yourself that the lie is ok or maybe its really truth. And what is truth, anyway? Isn't it all relative. There is no real black and white in this world anymore. Francis Schaeffer called it Secular Humanism or "pure relativism". No real truth, just relative based on the situation and circumstances. No black and white, just shades of gray.
But most of us believe there is truth and we respect people who tell the truth. Men and women of integrity seem to be more and more rare these days. So why do many people lie? Is it money, sex, addictions, love, adultery, fear, insecurity, power, honor, glory, respect, etc?? I love truth tellers.....men and women of integrity who I know there word is there word. These are the people who are true friends...honest and full of integrity with no insincere motives. I trust them. I respect them. I need them in my life. I need them as friends and confidants who love me and want the absolute best for me. Yes....Liars are Everywhere, but there are a few truth tellers out there..............and when you find one in your life, you better hold on tight! Truth feels so much better!!!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
So you want to be a Millionaire!?!
Do you know any Millionaires? How well do you know them? I know several Millionaires from various parts of the planet. They are very focused people. Some I am very close to and most I am not. A few I like and most I don't. Have you ever tried to get close to a Millionaire?? Its not easy, even if you are married to them or a close relative or an old high school friend or a long time business partner or associate. They seem to guard themselves from you. Protect their feelings and emotions. Are they protecting their money? Most are not vulnerable or have lost their old self in another identity. Many seem to have forgotten who they are or who they once were. You have heard it before. Money will not change me! I will always be the same person no matter how much money I acquire! Has that been your experience with Millionaires??
Not mine. Money does change us and it has changed me. For the good or the not so good?? I have never seen it bring real, genuine happiness to any of my friends, acquaintances, business colleagues, high school or college buddies, except one man who is no longer with us. I will talk more about him in a minute. But first, a few of my experiences of wanting to be a Millionaire and listening to others discuss their desire to be wealthy.
I will never forget one fellow at Georgia Tech who was so honest and to the point. "I want a Porsche 911 and $1 million in the bank, and then I will get my life right with God and others." But why not now? "No", he would say, "First things first! You must set priorities or you will never get what you want. First the wealth, then perhaps God and family." I have often wondered if he ever got the Porsche and/or the money and if he did, where is he now. Were his priorities correct? Is that the proper sequence? Get first, then give back, but get what you want and deserve first!!
And then there are my business colleagues and associates and clients......I have watched them all work very hard and some have prospered greatly over the last 10 to 20 years. Guys I have known since grade school, high school and college and a few I have worked for in my consulting business. Did money change them over the years? They tell me...."I am the same man, nothing has changed." But their lives seem to be much more complex and complicated. For some reason, they don't seem happy. They are always distracted from family, wives, fun, hobbies, friends, children, mothers and fathers. Some are short tempered, others are all business and barely crack a smile. Most are very proud men, full of themselves, confident, self-absorbed, focused, relentless and proud of their business accomplishments. Not so much their family accomplishments and charities and church. My accountant is amazed every year at who gives and who doesn't. He always tells me that most Millionaires don't give to charities unless they are reducing their tax liability. The real givers, he says, have average incomes. Amazing!!
Most Millionaires seem to be out of balance and not quite sure how to bring themselves back to the center. Some are very honest about their family failures. "My son flunked his freshmen year." Well what happened, Tom? "I gave him too much money. I spoiled him and he expected that car payment or vacation or new clothes or monthly beer allowance." And still others have seen their marriages and other relationships fall apart and they can't seem to understand just why. "I gave her everything she ever wanted. We took trips around the world. She wears the best of everything, eats the best food, enjoys the best spa treatments, lives in the best house in the neighborhood, drives the best cars, etc, etc, etc." But did you give her yourself? Isn't that what she really wanted? "But I just can't get emotional with her and understand her thinking. I am not built that way. I am a man, a provider, King of the Castle." Isn't that what your son and daughter really wanted?? That is quite difficult to write since I am the biggest Hypocrite on the planet. My business has led me around the world many times but without my family and they have suffered. Was it worth it? I have my regrets.....many! But I can't undo it. I must move forward and by God's grace, I do!
So is money all bad and what is the best investment? I asked those questions and many more to the man who married us over 22 years ago. His answer? You have heard the answer before but do you truly understand it? "It depends on what you do with it", he said. The best investment? "Give it away to the Least." Do what??? "Invest in people, not things." Easy to say, right? But very difficult to practice. Not for this man. For over 25 years, he was audited by the IRS because he gave away 49% of his income and even in his death, he is still giving it to the Least. And of all the Millionaires I have known the last 30 years, I have never met another man like this man. Full of peace, joy and a compassionate love for the Least. A man of integrity, honesty, generosity and determination. I will never forget him!
So, do you still want to be a Millionaire? Ummmmm.... I can take it or leave it.
Not mine. Money does change us and it has changed me. For the good or the not so good?? I have never seen it bring real, genuine happiness to any of my friends, acquaintances, business colleagues, high school or college buddies, except one man who is no longer with us. I will talk more about him in a minute. But first, a few of my experiences of wanting to be a Millionaire and listening to others discuss their desire to be wealthy.
I will never forget one fellow at Georgia Tech who was so honest and to the point. "I want a Porsche 911 and $1 million in the bank, and then I will get my life right with God and others." But why not now? "No", he would say, "First things first! You must set priorities or you will never get what you want. First the wealth, then perhaps God and family." I have often wondered if he ever got the Porsche and/or the money and if he did, where is he now. Were his priorities correct? Is that the proper sequence? Get first, then give back, but get what you want and deserve first!!
And then there are my business colleagues and associates and clients......I have watched them all work very hard and some have prospered greatly over the last 10 to 20 years. Guys I have known since grade school, high school and college and a few I have worked for in my consulting business. Did money change them over the years? They tell me...."I am the same man, nothing has changed." But their lives seem to be much more complex and complicated. For some reason, they don't seem happy. They are always distracted from family, wives, fun, hobbies, friends, children, mothers and fathers. Some are short tempered, others are all business and barely crack a smile. Most are very proud men, full of themselves, confident, self-absorbed, focused, relentless and proud of their business accomplishments. Not so much their family accomplishments and charities and church. My accountant is amazed every year at who gives and who doesn't. He always tells me that most Millionaires don't give to charities unless they are reducing their tax liability. The real givers, he says, have average incomes. Amazing!!
Most Millionaires seem to be out of balance and not quite sure how to bring themselves back to the center. Some are very honest about their family failures. "My son flunked his freshmen year." Well what happened, Tom? "I gave him too much money. I spoiled him and he expected that car payment or vacation or new clothes or monthly beer allowance." And still others have seen their marriages and other relationships fall apart and they can't seem to understand just why. "I gave her everything she ever wanted. We took trips around the world. She wears the best of everything, eats the best food, enjoys the best spa treatments, lives in the best house in the neighborhood, drives the best cars, etc, etc, etc." But did you give her yourself? Isn't that what she really wanted? "But I just can't get emotional with her and understand her thinking. I am not built that way. I am a man, a provider, King of the Castle." Isn't that what your son and daughter really wanted?? That is quite difficult to write since I am the biggest Hypocrite on the planet. My business has led me around the world many times but without my family and they have suffered. Was it worth it? I have my regrets.....many! But I can't undo it. I must move forward and by God's grace, I do!
So is money all bad and what is the best investment? I asked those questions and many more to the man who married us over 22 years ago. His answer? You have heard the answer before but do you truly understand it? "It depends on what you do with it", he said. The best investment? "Give it away to the Least." Do what??? "Invest in people, not things." Easy to say, right? But very difficult to practice. Not for this man. For over 25 years, he was audited by the IRS because he gave away 49% of his income and even in his death, he is still giving it to the Least. And of all the Millionaires I have known the last 30 years, I have never met another man like this man. Full of peace, joy and a compassionate love for the Least. A man of integrity, honesty, generosity and determination. I will never forget him!
So, do you still want to be a Millionaire? Ummmmm.... I can take it or leave it.
Monday, June 21, 2010
My First Post - Setting It Up - My Journey
So my wife has been encouraging me to do a journal for the last 22 years and today I decided to do it. She claims I have missed so many great opportunities by not recording all of my adventures and experiences in life since I have had the blessings to travel and meet many different humans on this planet. From the small country town folks of SC and NC and GA and AL and TX and MI and UT and FL and OH and WVA, to the friendly Muslims of Nigeria to the smiling Buddists of Thailand to the Industrialists of WuHu, China to the struggling poor of Mexico to the Socialists of Belgium, UK, Germany, France and Switzerland, I have interviewed, shared meals, prayed, laughed, cried, cursed, consumed all types of beverages, worked, taught, learned, agreed, disagreed, argued, cheered, etc. etc. etc.
I have realized that all of these peoples have one main thing in common -- the desire for love and purpose in a fallen world. So how do they find this love and purpose and where do they buy it? Or is it for sell? Like You, I have learned that People are the same no matter where they live, what they drive, what they wear, what they eat, who they sleep with or who they know.......they are all longing to be loved, appreciated, noticed, respected, admired, cherished...whether they are serving you a Big Mac Heart Attack or playing you a song on their Alto Sax or dropping names of VIPs or counting their $$$ out loud so the world can hear..........they all need the same thing...............
Reminds me of one of my favorite songs ---------The Call ----everyone needs to know, especially The Least, that They Matter. So some of this blog will be about that.........telling people that they Matter, they Count, they are Needed, they are Special...........and the rest will be about my past, present and future experiences...........so hold on...it should be an interesting ride.
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