Tuesday, June 22, 2010

So you want to be a Millionaire!?!

Do you know any Millionaires? How well do you know them? I know several Millionaires from various parts of the planet. They are very focused people. Some I am very close to and most I am not. A few I like and most I don't. Have you ever tried to get close to a Millionaire?? Its not easy, even if you are married to them or a close relative or an old high school friend or a long time business partner or associate. They seem to guard themselves from you. Protect their feelings and emotions. Are they protecting their money? Most are not vulnerable or have lost their old self in another identity. Many seem to have forgotten who they are or who they once were. You have heard it before. Money will not change me! I will always be the same person no matter how much money I acquire! Has that been your experience with Millionaires??

Not mine. Money does change us and it has changed me. For the good or the not so good?? I have never seen it bring real, genuine happiness to any of my friends, acquaintances, business colleagues, high school or college buddies, except one man who is no longer with us. I will talk more about him in a minute. But first, a few of my experiences of wanting to be a Millionaire and listening to others discuss their desire to be wealthy.

I will never forget one fellow at Georgia Tech who was so honest and to the point. "I want a Porsche 911 and $1 million in the bank, and then I will get my life right with God and others." But why not now? "No", he would say, "First things first! You must set priorities or you will never get what you want. First the wealth, then perhaps God and family." I have often wondered if he ever got the Porsche and/or the money and if he did, where is he now. Were his priorities correct? Is that the proper sequence? Get first, then give back, but get what you want and deserve first!!

And then there are my business colleagues and associates and clients......I have watched them all work very hard and some have prospered greatly over the last 10 to 20 years. Guys I have known since grade school, high school and college and a few I have worked for in my consulting business. Did money change them over the years? They tell me...."I am the same man, nothing has changed." But their lives seem to be much more complex and complicated. For some reason, they don't seem happy. They are always distracted from family, wives, fun, hobbies, friends, children, mothers and fathers. Some are short tempered, others are all business and barely crack a smile. Most are very proud men, full of themselves, confident, self-absorbed, focused, relentless and proud of their business accomplishments. Not so much their family accomplishments and charities and church. My accountant is amazed every year at who gives and who doesn't. He always tells me that most Millionaires don't give to charities unless they are reducing their tax liability. The real givers, he says, have average incomes. Amazing!!

Most Millionaires seem to be out of balance and not quite sure how to bring themselves back to the center. Some are very honest about their family failures. "My son flunked his freshmen year." Well what happened, Tom? "I gave him too much money. I spoiled him and he expected that car payment or vacation or new clothes or monthly beer allowance." And still others have seen their marriages and other relationships fall apart and they can't seem to understand just why. "I gave her everything she ever wanted. We took trips around the world. She wears the best of everything, eats the best food, enjoys the best spa treatments, lives in the best house in the neighborhood, drives the best cars, etc, etc, etc." But did you give her yourself? Isn't that what she really wanted? "But I just can't get emotional with her and understand her thinking. I am not built that way. I am a man, a provider, King of the Castle." Isn't that what your son and daughter really wanted?? That is quite difficult to write since I am the biggest Hypocrite on the planet. My business has led me around the world many times but without my family and they have suffered. Was it worth it? I have my regrets.....many! But I can't undo it. I must move forward and by God's grace, I do!

So is money all bad and what is the best investment? I asked those questions and many more to the man who married us over 22 years ago. His answer? You have heard the answer before but do you truly understand it? "It depends on what you do with it", he said. The best investment? "Give it away to the Least." Do what??? "Invest in people, not things." Easy to say, right? But very difficult to practice. Not for this man. For over 25 years, he was audited by the IRS because he gave away 49% of his income and even in his death, he is still giving it to the Least. And of all the Millionaires I have known the last 30 years, I have never met another man like this man. Full of peace, joy and a compassionate love for the Least. A man of integrity, honesty, generosity and determination. I will never forget him!

So, do you still want to be a Millionaire? Ummmmm.... I can take it or leave it.

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