What level of Risk are You willing to Take? For Eternity?

"God spilt the life of his Son that we might be saved, are we prepared to spill out our lives?”

——Oswald Chambers

The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.

————Frederick Buechner

What level of Risk are you willing take?  Are you full of fear?  Are you afraid to take a chance?  Have you ever given like a Macedonian?  

We want you to know, brothers, [1] about the grace of God that has been given among the churches of Macedonia, for in a severe test of affliction, their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part. For they gave according to their means, as I can testify, and beyond their means, of their own accord, begging us earnestly for the favor of taking part in the relief of the saints— 2 Corinthians 8:1-3

In “Risk is Right”, in the forward of John Piper’s book, David Platt quotes Matthew 13: 44 where Jesus tells his disciples, “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”

Piper, John (2013-01-31). Risk Is Right: Better to Lose Your Life Than to Waste It (p. 9). Crossway. Kindle Edition. 

Platt says, "This is the picture of Jesus in the gospel. He is something— someone— worth losing everything for. When we really believe this, then risking everything we are and everything we have, to know and obey Christ is no longer a matter of sacrifice. It’s just common sense. To let go of the pursuits, possessions, pleasures, safety, and security of this world in order to follow Jesus wherever he leads, no matter what it costs, is not sacrificial as much as it is smart. In the words of Jim Elliot, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

But where are the “Jim Elliots” these days?  Do you know any men or women (Elizabeth Elliot) like this?  I don’t !!  Why not?  Its like the question I asked a month ago in a blog……..”Do you have anyone in your life who will shed blood with you in the fight and stand by you to sacrifice for and with you?”  But is that the right question?  The real question as I pondered this is……….”Will I be that person for someone else?  Am I willing to take the first step?  Am I willing to take a risk?

Can I truly agree with Paul and Piper in the first chapter, The Ultimate Meaning of Life…………….. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. (Phil. 1: 20– 21)

Piper, John (2013-01-31). Risk Is Right: Better to Lose Your Life Than to Waste It (p. 13). Crossway. Kindle Edition. 

Of course not and if you are honest…………you can’t say it either because you cling to everything just like I do.  You love money and security even if it robs your joy and makes you mediocre in the Kingdom……..I feel more secure on this planet than I would in the perfect will of God.  Can you see how silly and stupid this sounds?

Have you ever looked down into a pool of water……..on a cliff 40 or 50 feet above…………trying to decide if you have the guts to jump???  I remember twice in my life…once in WVA and another time in NC………it was thrilling!  Scary…………was I willing to take the risk?  But after I did it, I did it again and again…….because it was exhilarating!!!!  The fear turned into the thrill of freedom!!!

I have to agree with Eldridge when he says….”I want to live my whole life like that.  I want to love with much more abandon and stop waiting for others to love me first.  I want to hurl myself into a creative work worthy of God.  I want to charge the fields of Bannockburn, follow Peter as he followed Christ out onto the sea, pray from my hearts true desires.”

Don’t let this stinkin, selfish world rob you of joy, it aint worth it compared to Eternity…………Take a Risk…….Take an Adventure!  You will never have enough money because you love it so much and the so-called security it brings………Understand what Buechner is saying…….God is calling you to deep gladness to meet a need………..a need that you are called to meet…………Listen to Him, take the risk and go Practice your Faith.

A Band of Brothers ready to shed their blood with you...Do you have Brothers like this?

Come on………I know the answer…..it’s not NO….it’s HELLLLLLLL NO!!!!  And that is sad!

Eldridge in Wild at Heart, claims…..”We don’t need an accountability group or a meeting of really nice guys…….we need fellow warriors, a gathering of Really Dangerous Men.”  

David Smith writes in the Friendless American Male, "One problem is the friendless condition of the American Male….men can’t admit that they need the fellowship of other men.”  

I call it the Cowboy mentality…….. the tough guy…….I remember the days when my Father would get hurt by my Mother or feel down about something.  He would get his feelings hurt but never admit it.  In fact, he would say……"don’t worry about me, I don’t have any feelings.  You can’t hurt my feelings because I don’t have any.”  Now……I admit…..that he was a tough guy…….part Comanche Indian, Special Forces Green Beret, one year Korean War, 4 years Vietnam, 2 purple hearts, (unlike John Kerry, his wounds required hospital treatment and stitches) one bronze star, one silver medal ……….they called him “Animal” on the High School football team.  He was tough……..but he damn sure had feelings and they got hurt a lot but he never had another man he could share his heart with…….so sometimes he would share it with me when I was a teenager.  

He would share his pain and his hurt………what a horrible marriage he had and it saddened him deeply……..he had killed many North Viet Cong but was unable to heal and repair his own marriage or the lung cancer he eventually died from.  

What does Jesus mean in Matthew 11:12?  "The kingdom of heaven suffers violence and violent men take it by force.”  I really don’t think he is talking about “couch potatoes” and “Video Gamers”.  I think he is talking about "men of passion" and masculine aggression and fearlessness, brave, loyal and dedicated to the cause of Christ!  I don’t know many me like that today………do you?  But if you find him……..I recommend that you fall on your knees and beg him to mentor you!

When I was 13 years old, we lived at Ft Benning in Columbus, GA.  My father has just returned from Vietnam and he would eventually leave the Army due to the post war cut back.  But I vaguely remember one night where he met with the men who he fought along side in Vietnam…….all junior to him.  He had fought for his life with them and one of his Sergeants had saved my father’s life when the enemy had attacked him at night to cut his throat.  These men, without the Lord, were still truly a Band of Brothers.  I will never forget how thrilled my father was when he met with them and how close they were.  They needed each other and had depended on each other and it showed.  They were Warriors who needed each other!!

King David fell into sin with Bathsheba when he was no longer a Warrior strolling around the roof of the palace.  2 Samuel 11:1.  He got lazy and became a couch potato playing games and fell……sharing with no one…….Posing………and falling

What about you……… Tough Guy?  Who do you depend on??

Response from a Reader……..Don’t Blame the Devil………

James answers that question rather succinctly in chapter 4

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures." James 4:1-3  

Fighting comes from selfishness and blame shifting and pride. Oh yes, the devil tempts us, because James also says "resist the devil," but the bulk of the passage concentrates on OUR love of the world and OUR lack of humility; James goes on:

"You adulterous people,[a] don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us[b]? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:

“God opposes the proud

    but shows favor to the humble.”[c]

7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:4-10

We love the world and we want its 'stuff,' and we resent those who get in the way of us getting that 'stuff.'  "We desire, but do not have, so we kill." Oh we don't actually murder the other person, we just use our words to stab at them with exaggerated untruths or dismissive comments that question their worth, while gaining sympathy for 'our cause' by slandering them to others. James knows how it works:

"11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister[d] or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?" James 4:11-12

AND 

 "Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." James 3:5-6

So the answer is that the devil is an opportunist who waits for an opening - most often to tempt us when we are feeling sorry for ourselves because we don't have some kind of worldly stuff that we think we deserve, and it is our mate's *fault* for some reason or other so we fight with them.

But it isn't the devils fault. We can't blame him. It is our lusts that we have been carried away by. The lust for recognition, sensuality, money, honor, excitement, status, success, possessions, glory - always there is somebody "getting in the way" of us getting these things.

I write this because I know whereof I speak. I am at heart a murderer who would destroy with words those who got in my way. This is the shame I have been rescued from by Jesus

Can we Blame it on the Devil, the “Accuser of the Brethren”???  Is it a spiritual battle between you and the enemy and your wife…….not just you and your wife……..both ‘in the flesh”?  Have you ever felt, like I have, that no matter how you tried to be clear in communicating with the love of your life, your lover, the Mother of your children, your soul mate for life, and your bestest friend on the planet……….no matter how hard you try………you don’t get through and you don’t have a freakin clue how to get through!!!

Now…………is that the enemy or my stinkin inadequacy and/or flesh/sin??  Cause I know how inadequate I am in communicating with my wife and women.   But I can tell you that there have been times where I felt there was a block and a barrier and it was supernatural, not normal or natural and it was oppressive!!  Call it demonic, evil, queer, strange, abnormal, mystical or supernatural, other worldly???  I don’t know……but I sure felt helpless, no clue and powerless to communicate!!!!

And I do know that when we do communicate and understand each other, our ministry is powerful and effective and giving.  We have served together powerfully and loved many children together selflessly to the Glory of God.  But there have been times where we have not done well together…………..is that the Enemy, Lucifer, the Devil, the accuser of the Brethren??  Eldridge says it is and so does C. S. Lewis in The Screwtape Letters.  The Devil is concealing himself and doesn’t want you to believe he exists because he is much more effective this way.   

Is Peter right????  Is the Devil a roaring Lion?  Seeking whom he may devour?  What do you think?  Do we fight the ones we love the most because of an evil force know as the Slanderer, the fallen Angel…..Lucifer? 

Look forward to hearing your comments…………..

The World of Posers is Shaken by a Real Man!!!

Did you ask those two questions of yourself last week?

1.  PUT THE BOOK DOWN…….AND CONSIDER WHAT YOU WOULD THINK OF YOURSELF IF TOMORROW, YOU LOST EVERYTHING THAT THE WORLD HAS REWARDED YOU FOR!!!    

2.  Where are you deriving your sense of strength and power from?  Ask yourself this question often.  

Maybe I am wrong, but I would assume that most of you didn’t ………….

Why should you?  You are comfortable, safe, healthy, employed……But are you effective in and for the Kingdom?  For Jesus?  I often doubt my effectiveness!!!  Do you?  Or do you even think about it??……….your eternal purpose?  I don’t …….enough!!

It is sooooo much easier to be a Poser than a Real Man….to stand for the underdog, the "not so pretty", uneducated, poor, down trodden…is tough!!!!       ..Real men expose posers……you will not be popular……..or well liked by many……..you will be challenged and humiliated……….not so cool anymore……kinda like Jesus……..crucified and buried but back, risen, and seen by over 500 people!  

I met a young 13 year old boy today who was visiting our house with friends.  When I innocently asked him about his father, he hung his head and with a sad voice told me his father had died when he was 5 years old as a war hero.  His Aunt later told me that his father had committed suicide as a Soldier and the boy was not told the truth.  Sad……this life is sad in many ways……and there are young boys out there with no Real Men in their lives.  Why not you??  Why not me??  Wellllll………..you know the answer to that question…….we answered it at the beginning…..you are comfortable, safe, healthy and employed……….why the hell would I get involved with a young sad boy?

But don’t be afraid to let your strength show up………..the real you……the Real Man…….Let People feel the Weight of Who you Really are…..and let them deal with it.  You and I both have a lot to offer "fatherless 13 year old boys”.  Go find one and teach him how to be a Real Man.

Do  people know who you really are?  Are you afraid to show them?  Are you afraid to be real and vulnerable?  Are you posing for protection?  

I remember going to a high school reunion a few years ago and meeting some buddies who had made it big….multi millionaires, married to beautiful, young women, driving fast cars and living in big houses on the beach, prestige and big titles like CEO and President……They were Legends in their own Minds!  Although we were close in high school, they were very different now and I did not recognize them and they chose not to really acknowledge me.  I remember thinking what money can do to a man and how we all live for this temporary pleasure of wealth and self-importance and how phony it all was!!

What is the “World” mentioned in the Bible?  Eldredge says “the World is not a place or set of behaviors like drinking or dancing or going to bars, etc.—it is any system built by our collective sin, all our false selves coming together to reward and destroy each other.  Take all those posers out there, put them together in an office or club or a church and want you get is what the Scriptures mean by the World.”  

  

He goes on to say……”the World is carnival of counterfeits, counterfeit battles, counterfeit adventures, counterfeit beauties.  Men should think of it as a corruption of their strength.  Battle your way to the top, says the World, and you are a Man (or The Man).  Why is it then that the men who get there are the most prideful, fearful, frightened, most emptiest posers around?  They are mercenaries battling to build their own kingdoms.  There is nothing transcendant about their own lives.

And the same holds true for adventure addicts……after the last adventure and the thrill is gone, it is still just a hobby.  And we are all looking for that Golden-haired woman, the counterfeit beauty…..we are told to go for her. 

Eldredge says again:

PUT THE BOOK DOWN…….AND CONSIDER WHAT YOU WOULD THINK OF YOURSELF IF TOMORROW, YOU LOST EVERYTHING THAT THE WORLD HAS REWARDED YOU FOR!!!    

Where are you deriving your sense of strength and power from?  Ask yourself this question often.  

I am struggling with that now.  I have had several chances in my live over the years to become very wealthy and God removed the opportunity……..for my own good.  He knew that I could not handle it, that I would spend the wealth on me and prefer myself to others and my wife…..live for myself and not Him……for God’s sake, I have enough problem with that now in my present state.  

Eldridge says….” Don’t be a self-promoter, choose the path of humility, climb down the ladder……invite the mail clerk home for dinner."

I fly a lot and it is often times a miserable experience.  People are tired and miserable and grumpy.  I try to find people doing something right and tell them about it……..like the flight attendant who smiles at me after a 12 hour day or the janitor scrubbing the toilet at the airport, giving it everything he’s got……to the glory of God.  

Are you a Counterfeit????……….or do you let people feel the weight of who you really are??

Let People Feel the Weight of Who you really are!!!

Do  people know who you really are?  Are you afraid to show them?  Are you afraid to be real and vulnerable?  Are you posing for protection?  

I remember going to a high school reunion a few years ago and meeting some buddies who had made it big….multi millionaires, married to beautiful, young women, driving fast cars and living in big houses on the beach, prestige and big titles like CEO and President……They were Legends in their own Minds!  Although we were close in high school, they were very different now and I did not recognize them and they chose not to really acknowledge me.  I remember thinking what money can do to a man and how we all live for this temporary pleasure of wealth and self-importance and how phony it all was!!

What is the “World” mentioned in the Bible?  Eldredge says “the World is not a place or set of behaviors like drinking or dancing or going to bars, etc.—it is any system built by our collective sin, all our false selves coming together to reward and destroy each other.  Take all those posers out there, put them together in an office or club or a church and want you get is what the Scriptures mean by the World.”  

  

He goes on to say……”the World is carnival of counterfeits, counterfeit battles, counterfeit adventures, counterfeit beauties.  Men should think of it as a corruption of their strength.  Battle your way to the top, says the World, and you are a Man (or The Man).  Why is it then that the men who get there are the most prideful, fearful, frightened, most emptiest posers around?  They are mercenaries battling to build their own kingdoms.  There is nothing transcendant about their own lives.

And the same holds true for adventure addicts……after the last adventure and the thrill is gone, it is still just a hobby.  And we are all looking for that Golden-haired woman, the counterfeit beauty…..we are told to go for her. 

Eldredge says again:

PUT THE BOOK DOWN…….AND CONSIDER WHAT YOU WOULD THINK OF YOURSELF IF TOMORROW, YOU LOST EVERYTHING THAT THE WORLD HAS REWARDED YOU FOR!!!    

Where are you deriving your sense of strength and power from?  Ask yourself this question often.  

I am struggling with that now.  I have had several chances in my live over the years to become very wealthy and God removed the opportunity……..for my own good.  He knew that I could not handle it, that I would spend the wealth on me and prefer myself to others and my wife…..live for myself and not Him……for God’s sake, I have enough problem with that now in my present state.  

Eldridge says….” Don’t be a self-promoter, choose the path of humility, climb down the ladder……invite the mail clerk home for dinner."

I fly a lot and it is often times a miserable experience.  People are tired and miserable and grumpy.  I try to find people doing something right and tell them about it……..like the flight attendant who smiles at me after a 12 hour day or the janitor scrubbing the toilet at the airport, giving it everything he’s got……to the glory of God.  

Are you a Counterfeit????……….or do you let people feel the weight of who you really are??

Being Real is Fearful

I got a lot of responses this past week and I sincerely appreciate the prayers and encouragement.  Interesting to hear that many people are really reading this blog every Saturday morning.  I had people actually call me from around the country to encourage me.  Some with similar experiences, fears, pains, frustrations, sadness, disappointments, pity parties and selfish flesh.  Some read it more than once……I hope it spoke to your heart because it came from mine.  Its also interesting who did not respond………..some people who had been through the death of parents but would rather not confess the pain or admit anything because its scary…..its vulnerable,,,,,,,uncomfortable………..

Its tough for men to be real…..scary as hell……..we would all rather be Posers, fakes and phonies…….but I have found that when you try it, other men identify, many don’t because its easier not to.  But some do and want to be real.  They want to be who God really made them to be…..a real man who loves a fight, an adventure and the love of a lady.  But we so easily forget who we are in Christ, don’t we???

As Eldridge says:

Ever since that fateful day when Adam gave away the essence of his strength, men have struggled with a part of themselves that is ready at the drop of a hat to do the same. 

We don’t want to speak up unless we know it will go well, and we don’t want to move unless we’re guaranteed success. What the Scriptures call the flesh, the old man, or the sinful nature, is that part of fallen Adam in every man that always wants the easiest way out. 

It’s much easier to masturbate than to make love to your wife, especially if things are not well between you and initiating sex with her feels risky. It’s much easier to go down to the driving range and attack a bucket of balls than it is to face the people at work who are angry at you.

 It’s much easier to clean the garage, organize your files, cut the grass, or work on the car than it is to talk to your teenage daughter. 

To put it bluntly, your flesh is a weasel, a poser, and a selfish pig. And your flesh is not you. Did you know that? Your flesh is not the real you. 

When Paul gives us his famous passage on what it’s like to struggle with sin (Rom. 7), he tells a story we are all too familiar with: I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. 

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (pp. 143-144). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

I want my friends to be real…..I want to be real….but I am full of fear just like you.  How do we break through???  Any ideas??

OH Death, Where is thy sting?

My Mother Died Last Wednesday!  SAD!!  It was not a pleasant experience……it was painful…for her….for her children……grandchildren………..and all the people who watched her waste away at 75 lbs in fear…….lots of fear…..fear of the unknown………Her lover and companion of 27 years had died on Sunday, 3 days prior…….of a horrible death from lung cancer….not pleasant either………..but what was really not pleasant was their denial of Eternity………In fact, I mentioned eternity at the grave side short message.  Sad!  My Father had faced Eternity almost 50 years prior at the same grave site we stood at!!  He was only 32 years old with a 1 year old, 6 year old and me at 8 years on June 5, 1966.  Death is sudden, unforgiving, undeniable, permanent, final………and quite sobering…….although I did have a few drinks before and after the funeral.  

My sister asked me this morning at 1am…are you doing ok this week?   MY response…..”Total sadness.  I do not want to die sad.  Do you?  I want joy unspeakable and full of glory!”

 Eldridge says in Wild at Heart…………

The root of all our woes and our false self was this: We were seeking to save our life and we lost it. Christ calls a man beyond that, “but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it” (Mark 8: 35). 

Again, this isn’t just about being willing to die for Christ; it’s much more daily than that. For years all my daily energy was spent trying to beat the trials in my life and arrange for a little pleasure. My weeks were wasted away either striving or indulging. I was a mercenary. A mercenary fights for pay, for his own benefit; his life is devoted to himself. “The quality of a true warrior,” says Bly, “is that he is in service to a purpose greater than himself; that is, to a transcendent cause.” That is the moving quality in Ballou’s letter; that is the secret of the warrior-heart of Jesus.

And that was my Mother…..trying to beat the trials and she had plenty……..striving, indulging a lot……. in booze and drugs…….fighting for pay…..more of something……devoted to herself…….she would always say….”I'm gonna start takin care of Wanda for a change and thinkin about what I want”……….but her life was always devoted to her addictions…….yes………she loved her children………but she loved her addictions more!  No question…..Saaaaaaaaaaaaddddddd!!  

What a wake up call for me!  What is my legacy??  How do I want to be remembered…….quite amazing how my children remembered their Mimi and how I remembered their Mimi!!!  Very different perspectives!  I always blamed her for my childhood……..the drunkeness and adulteries and craziness……….but little did I know or admit……there was Traitor within………my selfish…..stinking flesh that occupied and still occupies my heart.   So…….who do you blame????

Eldridge says…..

THE TRAITOR WITHIN

 However strong a castle may be, if a treacherous party resides inside (ready to betray at the first opportunity possible), the castle cannot be kept safe from the enemy. Traitors occupy our own hearts, ready to side with every temptation and to surrender to them all. (John Owen, Sin and Temptation)

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 143). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 143). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

O Death, where is thy Sting?

My Mother Died Last Wednesday!  SAD!!  It was not a pleasant experience……it was painful…for her….for her children……grandchildren………..and all the people who watched her waste away at 75 lbs in fear…….lots of fear…..fear of the unknown………Her lover and companion of 27 years had died on Sunday, 3 days prior…….of a horrible death from lung cancer….not pleasant either………..but what was really not pleasant was their denial of Eternity………In fact, I mentioned eternity at the grave side short message.  Sad!  My Father had faced Eternity almost 50 years prior at the same grave site we stood at!!  He was only 32 years old with a 1 year old, 6 year old and me at 8 years on June 5, 1966.  Death is sudden, unforgiving, undeniable, permanent, final………and quite sobering…….although I did have a few drinks before and after the funeral.  

My sister asked me this morning at 1am…are you doing ok this week?   MY response…..”Total sadness.  I do not want to die sad.  Do you?  I want joy unspeakable and full of glory!”

 Eldridge says in Wild at Heart…………

The root of all our woes and our false self was this: We were seeking to save our life and we lost it. Christ calls a man beyond that, “but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it” (Mark 8: 35). 

Again, this isn’t just about being willing to die for Christ; it’s much more daily than that. For years all my daily energy was spent trying to beat the trials in my life and arrange for a little pleasure. My weeks were wasted away either striving or indulging. I was a mercenary. A mercenary fights for pay, for his own benefit; his life is devoted to himself. “The quality of a true warrior,” says Bly, “is that he is in service to a purpose greater than himself; that is, to a transcendent cause.” That is the moving quality in Ballou’s letter; that is the secret of the warrior-heart of Jesus.

And that was my Mother…..trying to beat the trials and she had plenty……..striving, indulging a lot……. in booze and drugs…….fighting for pay…..more of something……devoted to herself…….she would always say….”I'm gonna start takin care of Wanda for a change and thinkin about what I want”……….but her life was always devoted to her addictions…….yes………she loved her children………but she loved her addictions more!  No question…..Saaaaaaaaaaaaddddddd!!  

What a wake up call for me!  What is my legacy??  How do I want to be remembered…….quite amazing how my children remembered their Mimi and how I remembered their Mimi!!!  Very different perspectives!  I always blamed her for my childhood……..the drunkeness and adulteries and craziness……….but little did I know or admit……there was Traitor within………my selfish…..stinking flesh that occupied and still occupies my heart.   So…….who do you blame????

Eldridge says…..

THE TRAITOR WITHIN

 However strong a castle may be, if a treacherous party resides inside (ready to betray at the first opportunity possible), the castle cannot be kept safe from the enemy. Traitors occupy our own hearts, ready to side with every temptation and to surrender to them all. (John Owen, Sin and Temptation)

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 143). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 143). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

David fought the uncircumsczed Philistine.........Should you??

Keith from the heart…………

The minute I started reading this chapter, I immediately thought about the Shepherd boy who stood up before the great warriors of Israel and said, 

“For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?" 1 Samuel 17:26b

“And Saul said to David, “You  are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him, for you are but a youth, and he has been a man of war from this youth”. 1 Samuel 17:33

And David said to Saul……..”Your servant has struck down both lions and bears, and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be like one of them, for he has defied the armies of the living God.  And David said, “ the Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of    this Philistine.  And Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you!”  1 Samuel 17: 36-37

Can you and I be like David or are we called to be just Spectators of the Battle like David’s eldest brother, Eliab, and the other seasoned warriors of Israel???  They watched, Cowards, spectators, nay-sayers, afraid to commit……..Afraid to give, afraid to sacrifice and get involved, afraid to be wounded during the fight, afraid of losing, afraid of being humiliated, disgraced, condemned and proven wrong???  The news is not good, my friends!  I know many Christian men like this and I too, have been this man most of my life…..a man of the temporary earth, not a man of eternity and eternal causes…………its really not just about how much you pray, or study, or talk or teach or sound super spiritual………life is more than that……….you have to sign up for the fight…….whatever that call is ………..whatever God is telling you……..there will be a fight involved and you have to act on it!!!

Listen to Eldredge:

A man must have a battle to fight, a great mission to his life that involves and yet transcends even home and family. He must have a cause to which he is devoted even unto death, for this is written into the fabric of his being. Listen carefully now: You do. That is why God created you— to be his intimate ally, to join him in the Great Battle. You have a specific place in the line, a mission God made you for. That is why it is so essential to hear from God about your true name, because in that name is the mission of your life. Churchill was called upon to lead the British through the desperate hours of WWII. He said, “I felt as if I were walking with destiny, and that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and for this trial.” The same is true of you; your whole life has been preparation. 

 Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (pp. 141-142). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Don’t wait another day, my Brothers!!!!!  Stand up to fight the battle……..whatever the battle God is calling you to!  Only you know what it is……..But do not put it off another day………when you are more financially stable, empty nested, free of other obligations, not working 50 hour weeks, have a better marriage, or get married, or divorced, etc, etc, etc………that day will never come!  Pray for me that I will move forward to fight the battle God has called me to..

Eldredge says again:

That’s a lie of the Enemy— that your place is really insignificant, that you aren’t really armed for it anyway. In your life you are William Wallace— who else could be? There is no other man who can replace you in your life, in the arena you’ve been called to. If you leave your place in the line, it will remain empty. No one else can be who you are meant to be. You are the hero in your story. Not a bit player, not an extra, but the main man. This is the next leg in the initiation journey, when God calls a man forward to the front lines. He wants to develop and release in us the qualities every warrior needs— including a keen awareness of the enemies we will face. 

 Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 142). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Should you trust a Man who hasn't Suffered??

Yes. True strength does not come out of bravado. 

Until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant; our strength will be our own. So long as you think you are really something in and of yourself, what will you need God for? I don’t trust a man who hasn’t suffered; I don’t let a man get close to me who hasn’t faced his wound. Think of the posers you know— are they the kind of man you would call at 2: 00 A.M., when life is collapsing around you? Not me. I don’t want clichés; I want deep, soulful truth, and that only comes when a man has walked the road I’ve been talking about.

Enemy-occupied territory— that is what this world is. —C. S. LEWIS 

We are but warriors for the working-day; Our gayness and our gilt are all besmirch’d With rainy marching in the painful field . . . But, by the mass, our hearts are in the trim. —HENRY V 

If we would endeavor, like men of courage, to stand in the battle, surely we would feel the favorable assistance of God from Heaven. For he who giveth us occasion to fight, to the end we may get the victory, is ready to succor those that fight manfully, and do trust in his grace. —THOMAS À KEMPIS

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 139). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

Thailand and the Poor - Why keep coming back??

As I walk the streets and drive the country side of Thailand this week, I am wondering what poverty is, is this it??  And what am I called to do concerning the poor?  I mean Jesus said….”The poor will always be with us.”  Right?  So whats the big deal?  Well, I read this prophetic verse from Isaiah again and ponder what it really means.  

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;”

Isaiah 61:1 ESV

http://bible.com/59/isa.61.1.esv

Who did Jesus deal with and work with and talk to and love?  It seems to be the poor, the sick, and seldom appears to be the rich.  Would he hang with Donald Trump if He came back today?  But they all need a Saviour!  Even The Donald!  But do they recognize that?  

Who are the “Worthy Poor”?  The “Poorest of Poor”?

I know, I know…..too many questions and no answers!!  But I would appreciate your comments……………

Grieve the Wound..........and a Response

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release for the prisoners.  Isaiah 61:1

Is that you? The Brokenhearted? A Captive? A Prisoner?  Well……Good News…..…..that is exactly WHO Jesus, The Messiah, has come for!!  He has come to heal your broken heart!!  Now that you have finally admitted that it is broken……..this is tough for men! You don’t cry and you don’t admit weakness and you sure as hell don’t admit that you have been wounded and broken and beat down!!!  But Real Men Do…………….And we saw last week from the response……….that Real Women do too……….

Eldredge makes it quite clear:

That is why we must grieve the wound. It was not your fault and it did matter. Oh what a milestone day that was for me when I simply allowed myself to say that the loss of my father mattered. The tears that flowed were the first I’d ever granted my wound, and they were deeply healing. All those years of sucking it up melted away in my grief. It is so important for us to grieve our wound; it is the only honest thing to do. For in grieving we admit the truth— that we were hurt by someone we loved, that we lost something very dear, and it hurt us very much. Tears are healing. They help to open and cleanse the wound. As Augustine wrote in his Confessions, “The tears . . . streamed down, and I let them flow as freely as they would, making of them a pillow for my heart. On them it rested.” Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered. We let God love us; we let him get real close to us. I know, it seems painfully obvious, but I’m telling you few men are ever so vulnerable as to simply let themselves be loved by God.

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 130). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

 Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (pp. 129-130). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

So…….it is time for us to Forgive our Fathers and our Mothers………… (Eph 4:31)  My Father was a good man, But not a Saved Man, Not a Man of God…….and not necessarily a Giving Man, But I loved him because he spent time with me and taught me and encouraged me and was there……He died over 29 years ago and I still miss him.  My Mother is certainly the source of most of my wound for many reasons of which will not edify me or you by reciting them……But I have learned to forgive her and understand her situation and grieve her inevitable Death, soon and very soon.  What a shame, what a waste of a life……..consumed with Fear and Sadness, full of addictions…..But I have no control of her life…….only my actions, my choices, my decisions, my stupidity and I have to remind myself of that daily…..Since I like to control people and things just like everyone…

I have quoted this song before but it always hits home with The Heart of the Matter:

The more I know, the less I understand, 

all the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again.

I've been tryin' to get down 

to the heart of the matter

but my will gets weak 

and my thoughts seem to scatter

but I think it's about forgiveness, 

forgiveness

even if, even if you don't love me anymore.

These times are so uncertain

There's a yearning undefined

.....people filled with rage

We all need a little tenderness

How can love survive in such a graceless age?

The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness

They're the very things we kill, I guess

Pride and competition

cannot fill these empty arms

And the work I put between us doesn't keep me warm

There are people in your life 

who've come and gone, 

They let you down, 

you know they've hurt your pride.

You better put it behind you; 

'cause life goes on.

You keep carryin' that anger, 

it'll eat you up inside baby,

I have always asked you to respond to the message each week since I learn and others learn from your comments…….most of you don’t but some of you do and here is a response from the heart…………(I share this with her permission)

"I read your weekly emails however, and although I am not "one of the guys," may I first reply to your last question, and then after that I have a comment.

Yes I had a wound, and yes I entered it, and yes, I believe God healed me.  I was once an orphan, always looking, until my 30's for a close female relationship - a "best" friend, and I thought I had found one  but what I was really looking  for was the unconditional love of a mother - a wise, totally loving and understanding parent, and God said "No, you won't get it here in this life, but you'll have it by and by - wait and hope in the resurrection." 

And in the process of finding that out, I nearly left my family and God, I was so mad at God. But at that crucial point of confrontation with the Almighty One, two things happened: 1. Someone, only partially aware of my struggle, asked me "Do you love God?" and 2. God, in what I can only call two visions, revealed first, the blackness of what departing from Him meant, and it scared me to death; second, He revealed the blackened heap of crushed humanity  Christ was reduced to when he lay dead, in darkness at the foot of His cross.

And this extrovert can be alone now, knowing communion awaits me soon enough.

Now my comment:

I know you both quote your book's author and make your own comments.  More than several times I have been confused, as I started reading a paragraph, who was speaking - you or the author.  This is a frustration.

You can set off a quote like this gmail feature of indenting the paragraph, or use some other feature to set off your quotes at the start of the quote.

Do you feel like you are called to shepherd these 30 or so men on this list?  Do you sometimes directly address them in emails, or pray for each by name? I assume you do, and that is why I read a frustrated note in your emails - why don't these guys care for and pray for you as much as you care for and pray for them?  The sheep never do, Keith.

Praying for my children and grandchild and your children and grands "Hope in God." These lostlings have yet to be confirmed in their faith and desperately need our intercession!

I have to quit typing now. I am doing this with one finger because my sprained left wrist is worse than ever, and I can't type or eat with it. (had an X-ray - not broken they said.)”

The whole false self, our “lifestyle,” is an elaborate defense against entering our wounded heart. It is a chosen blindness. “Our false self stubbornly blinds each of us to the light and the truth of our own emptiness and hollowness,” says Manning. There are readers who even now have no idea what their wound is, or even what false self arose from it. Ah, how convenient that blindness is. Blissful ignorance. But a wound unfelt is a wound unhealed. We must go in. The door may be your anger; it may be rejection that you’ve experienced, perhaps from a girl; it may be failure, or the loss of the golden bat and the way God is thwarting your false self. It may be a simple prayer: Jesus, take me into my wound.

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 127). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

Remember— masculinity is bestowed by masculinity. But there have been other significant ways in which God has worked— times of healing prayer, times of grieving the wound and forgiving my father. Most of all, times of deep communion with God. The point is this: Healing never happens outside of intimacy with Christ. The healing of our wound flows out of our union with him.

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 128). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?   Masculinity is bestowed by masculinity……..well Eldredge says that you need another man to tell you, that your a man……….. by words and confirmation through action and commitment.  

But do you have that man in your life?  Your friend, who confirms you when your wife or daughter or son makes you feel like sh_t!!!  And then you start to question yourself, lose your confidence, doubt your abilities, sometimes you get angry and sometimes you depressed and very passive and other times you withdraw……..from your wife and your friends and your God?????????????

I really can’t tell you how many times I have heard or been told that my Christian Brothers or other male acquaintances or friends……and that would be Pastors, Millionaire Businessmen, Teachers, Single Men, Married Men, Divorced Men, Homosexual Men, Heterosexual Men, Black, White, Red and Yellow Men…………..…don’t have a real friend……….a male friend who can and will confirm their Masculinity!!  And I can’t tell you how many times, men in my life, have been embarrassed for me to know that they are frail and “made from dust”…………just like me. 

But isn’t that exactly what we need to do………..to the feel the wound and get the healing??? 

But its obvious to me that few of you are seeing the need (see below) since I got zero responses from last week………now that’s a shame!!!!!!

2 Blogs: Feel the Wound - Get the Healing...........and Death Happens!

The whole false self, our “lifestyle,” is an elaborate defense against entering our wounded heart. It is a chosen blindness. “Our false self stubbornly blinds each of us to the light and the truth of our own emptiness and hollowness,” says Manning. There are readers who even now have no idea what their wound is, or even what false self arose from it. Ah, how convenient that blindness is. Blissful ignorance. But a wound unfelt is a wound unhealed. We must go in. The door may be your anger; it may be rejection that you’ve experienced, perhaps from a girl; it may be failure, or the loss of the golden bat and the way God is thwarting your false self. It may be a simple prayer: Jesus, take me into my wound.

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 127). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

Remember— masculinity is bestowed by masculinity. But there have been other significant ways in which God has worked— times of healing prayer, times of grieving the wound and forgiving my father. Most of all, times of deep communion with God. The point is this: Healing never happens outside of intimacy with Christ. The healing of our wound flows out of our union with him.

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 128). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?   Masculinity is bestowed by masculinity……..well Eldredge says that you need another man to tell you, that your a man……….. by words and confirmation through action and commitment.  

But do you have that man in your life?  Your friend, who confirms you when your wife or daughter or son makes you feel like sh_t!!!  And then you start to question yourself, lose your confidence, doubt your abilities, sometimes you get angry and sometimes you depressed and very passive and other times you withdraw……..from your wife and your friends and your God?????????????

I really can’t tell you how many times I have heard or been told that my Christian Brothers or other male acquaintances or friends……and that would be Pastors, Millionaire Businessmen, Teachers, Single Men, Married Men, Divorced Men, Homosexual Men, Heterosexual Men, Black, White, Red and Yellow Men…………..…don’t have a real friend……….a male friend who can and will confirm their Masculinity!!  And I can’t tell you how many times, men in my life, have been embarrassed for me to know that they are frail and “made from dust”…………just like me. 

But isn’t that exactly what we need to do………..to the feel the wound and get the healing??? 

But its obvious to me that few of you are seeing the need (see below) since I got zero responses from last week………now that’s a shame!!!!!!

DEATH HAPPENS!!!……….and you get wounded!

Frederick Buechner’s father committed suicide when he was ten. He left a note, to his mother: “I adore and love you, and am no good . . . Give Freddie my watch. Give Jaime my pearl pin. I give you all my love,” and then he sat in the garage while the running car filled it with carbon monoxide. It happened on a Saturday morning in the fall. He was to have taken Frederick and his brother to a football game that day. Instead, he took himself forever from their lives. What is a ten-year-old boy to do with such an event? A child takes life as it comes because he has no other way of taking it. 

The world had come to an end that Saturday morning, but each time we had moved to another place, I had seen a world come to an end, and there had always been another world to replace it. When somebody you love dies, Mark Twain said, it is like when your house burns down; it isn’t for years that you realize the full extent of your loss. For me it was longer than for most, if indeed I have realized it fully even yet, and in the meantime the loss came to get buried so deep in me that after a time I scarcely ever took it out to look at it at all, let alone speak of it. (The Sacred Journey) 

That is the way we are with our wound, especially men. We bury it deep and never take it out again. But take it out we must, or better, enter into it. 

I entered my wound through the surprising door of my anger. After we moved to Colorado, about eleven years ago, I found myself snapping at my boys for silly things. A spilled glass of milk would elicit a burst of rage. Whoa, John, I thought, there are things going on inside; you’d better have a look under the hood. As I explored my anger with the help of my dear friend Brent, I realized I was so furious about feeling all alone in a world that constantly demanded more of me than I felt able to give. Something in me felt young—young— like a ten-year-old boy in a man’s world but without a man’s ability to come through. There was much fear beneath the surface; fear that I would fail, fear that I would be found out, and finally, fear that I was ultimately on my own. Where did all this fear come from? I wondered. Why do I feel so alone in the world . . . and so young inside? Why does something in my heart feel orphaned?

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (pp. 125-126). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

Just like Frederick Buechner, my father died early when he was 32 and I was only 7.  It wounded me!!  And I am still wounded!  My mother then fell deeper into her alcoholism and the wound got deeper!  And I buried it just like Eldredge and every other young man or young boy.  I was a boy full of fear….not sure of my new Dad at 9 years old.  Afraid to call him Dad for a year or more but finally I did.  Afraid of my mother’s craziness, I became inward, closed, quiet, extremely insecure and very confused!  I was never really pointed to Jesus, just attended the Methodist club and sang in the choir.  But I really never understood my wound and hurt and confusion…….and it only got worse as they split mulitple times and he finally left and moved to Savannah for me to move the family and a drunk mother by myself to Savannah.  Not fun but good for character building.

Sooooo, what’s your story?  You have one ….just like me!  Have you entered the wound?  Have you been healed?  Jesus Stands at the Door and Knocks……..