I got a lot of responses this past week and I sincerely appreciate the prayers and encouragement. Interesting to hear that many people are really reading this blog every Saturday morning. I had people actually call me from around the country to encourage me. Some with similar experiences, fears, pains, frustrations, sadness, disappointments, pity parties and selfish flesh. Some read it more than once……I hope it spoke to your heart because it came from mine. Its also interesting who did not respond………..some people who had been through the death of parents but would rather not confess the pain or admit anything because its scary…..its vulnerable,,,,,,,uncomfortable………..
Its tough for men to be real…..scary as hell……..we would all rather be Posers, fakes and phonies…….but I have found that when you try it, other men identify, many don’t because its easier not to. But some do and want to be real. They want to be who God really made them to be…..a real man who loves a fight, an adventure and the love of a lady. But we so easily forget who we are in Christ, don’t we???
As Eldridge says:
Ever since that fateful day when Adam gave away the essence of his strength, men have struggled with a part of themselves that is ready at the drop of a hat to do the same.
We don’t want to speak up unless we know it will go well, and we don’t want to move unless we’re guaranteed success. What the Scriptures call the flesh, the old man, or the sinful nature, is that part of fallen Adam in every man that always wants the easiest way out.
It’s much easier to masturbate than to make love to your wife, especially if things are not well between you and initiating sex with her feels risky. It’s much easier to go down to the driving range and attack a bucket of balls than it is to face the people at work who are angry at you.
It’s much easier to clean the garage, organize your files, cut the grass, or work on the car than it is to talk to your teenage daughter.
To put it bluntly, your flesh is a weasel, a poser, and a selfish pig. And your flesh is not you. Did you know that? Your flesh is not the real you.
When Paul gives us his famous passage on what it’s like to struggle with sin (Rom. 7), he tells a story we are all too familiar with: I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (pp. 143-144). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.
I want my friends to be real…..I want to be real….but I am full of fear just like you. How do we break through??? Any ideas??
OH Death, Where is thy sting?
My Mother Died Last Wednesday! SAD!! It was not a pleasant experience……it was painful…for her….for her children……grandchildren………..and all the people who watched her waste away at 75 lbs in fear…….lots of fear…..fear of the unknown………Her lover and companion of 27 years had died on Sunday, 3 days prior…….of a horrible death from lung cancer….not pleasant either………..but what was really not pleasant was their denial of Eternity………In fact, I mentioned eternity at the grave side short message. Sad! My Father had faced Eternity almost 50 years prior at the same grave site we stood at!! He was only 32 years old with a 1 year old, 6 year old and me at 8 years on June 5, 1966. Death is sudden, unforgiving, undeniable, permanent, final………and quite sobering…….although I did have a few drinks before and after the funeral.
My sister asked me this morning at 1am…are you doing ok this week? MY response…..”Total sadness. I do not want to die sad. Do you? I want joy unspeakable and full of glory!”
Eldridge says in Wild at Heart…………
The root of all our woes and our false self was this: We were seeking to save our life and we lost it. Christ calls a man beyond that, “but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it” (Mark 8: 35).
Again, this isn’t just about being willing to die for Christ; it’s much more daily than that. For years all my daily energy was spent trying to beat the trials in my life and arrange for a little pleasure. My weeks were wasted away either striving or indulging. I was a mercenary. A mercenary fights for pay, for his own benefit; his life is devoted to himself. “The quality of a true warrior,” says Bly, “is that he is in service to a purpose greater than himself; that is, to a transcendent cause.” That is the moving quality in Ballou’s letter; that is the secret of the warrior-heart of Jesus.
And that was my Mother…..trying to beat the trials and she had plenty……..striving, indulging a lot……. in booze and drugs…….fighting for pay…..more of something……devoted to herself…….she would always say….”I'm gonna start takin care of Wanda for a change and thinkin about what I want”……….but her life was always devoted to her addictions…….yes………she loved her children………but she loved her addictions more! No question…..Saaaaaaaaaaaaddddddd!!
What a wake up call for me! What is my legacy?? How do I want to be remembered…….quite amazing how my children remembered their Mimi and how I remembered their Mimi!!! Very different perspectives! I always blamed her for my childhood……..the drunkeness and adulteries and craziness……….but little did I know or admit……there was Traitor within………my selfish…..stinking flesh that occupied and still occupies my heart. So…….who do you blame????
Eldridge says…..
THE TRAITOR WITHIN
However strong a castle may be, if a treacherous party resides inside (ready to betray at the first opportunity possible), the castle cannot be kept safe from the enemy. Traitors occupy our own hearts, ready to side with every temptation and to surrender to them all. (John Owen, Sin and Temptation)
Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 143). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.
Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 143). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.
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