Thailand and the Poor - Why keep coming back??

As I walk the streets and drive the country side of Thailand this week, I am wondering what poverty is, is this it??  And what am I called to do concerning the poor?  I mean Jesus said….”The poor will always be with us.”  Right?  So whats the big deal?  Well, I read this prophetic verse from Isaiah again and ponder what it really means.  

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;”

Isaiah 61:1 ESV

http://bible.com/59/isa.61.1.esv

Who did Jesus deal with and work with and talk to and love?  It seems to be the poor, the sick, and seldom appears to be the rich.  Would he hang with Donald Trump if He came back today?  But they all need a Saviour!  Even The Donald!  But do they recognize that?  

Who are the “Worthy Poor”?  The “Poorest of Poor”?

I know, I know…..too many questions and no answers!!  But I would appreciate your comments……………

Grieve the Wound..........and a Response

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release for the prisoners.  Isaiah 61:1

Is that you? The Brokenhearted? A Captive? A Prisoner?  Well……Good News…..…..that is exactly WHO Jesus, The Messiah, has come for!!  He has come to heal your broken heart!!  Now that you have finally admitted that it is broken……..this is tough for men! You don’t cry and you don’t admit weakness and you sure as hell don’t admit that you have been wounded and broken and beat down!!!  But Real Men Do…………….And we saw last week from the response……….that Real Women do too……….

Eldredge makes it quite clear:

That is why we must grieve the wound. It was not your fault and it did matter. Oh what a milestone day that was for me when I simply allowed myself to say that the loss of my father mattered. The tears that flowed were the first I’d ever granted my wound, and they were deeply healing. All those years of sucking it up melted away in my grief. It is so important for us to grieve our wound; it is the only honest thing to do. For in grieving we admit the truth— that we were hurt by someone we loved, that we lost something very dear, and it hurt us very much. Tears are healing. They help to open and cleanse the wound. As Augustine wrote in his Confessions, “The tears . . . streamed down, and I let them flow as freely as they would, making of them a pillow for my heart. On them it rested.” Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered. We let God love us; we let him get real close to us. I know, it seems painfully obvious, but I’m telling you few men are ever so vulnerable as to simply let themselves be loved by God.

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 130). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

 Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (pp. 129-130). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

So…….it is time for us to Forgive our Fathers and our Mothers………… (Eph 4:31)  My Father was a good man, But not a Saved Man, Not a Man of God…….and not necessarily a Giving Man, But I loved him because he spent time with me and taught me and encouraged me and was there……He died over 29 years ago and I still miss him.  My Mother is certainly the source of most of my wound for many reasons of which will not edify me or you by reciting them……But I have learned to forgive her and understand her situation and grieve her inevitable Death, soon and very soon.  What a shame, what a waste of a life……..consumed with Fear and Sadness, full of addictions…..But I have no control of her life…….only my actions, my choices, my decisions, my stupidity and I have to remind myself of that daily…..Since I like to control people and things just like everyone…

I have quoted this song before but it always hits home with The Heart of the Matter:

The more I know, the less I understand, 

all the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again.

I've been tryin' to get down 

to the heart of the matter

but my will gets weak 

and my thoughts seem to scatter

but I think it's about forgiveness, 

forgiveness

even if, even if you don't love me anymore.

These times are so uncertain

There's a yearning undefined

.....people filled with rage

We all need a little tenderness

How can love survive in such a graceless age?

The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness

They're the very things we kill, I guess

Pride and competition

cannot fill these empty arms

And the work I put between us doesn't keep me warm

There are people in your life 

who've come and gone, 

They let you down, 

you know they've hurt your pride.

You better put it behind you; 

'cause life goes on.

You keep carryin' that anger, 

it'll eat you up inside baby,

I have always asked you to respond to the message each week since I learn and others learn from your comments…….most of you don’t but some of you do and here is a response from the heart…………(I share this with her permission)

"I read your weekly emails however, and although I am not "one of the guys," may I first reply to your last question, and then after that I have a comment.

Yes I had a wound, and yes I entered it, and yes, I believe God healed me.  I was once an orphan, always looking, until my 30's for a close female relationship - a "best" friend, and I thought I had found one  but what I was really looking  for was the unconditional love of a mother - a wise, totally loving and understanding parent, and God said "No, you won't get it here in this life, but you'll have it by and by - wait and hope in the resurrection." 

And in the process of finding that out, I nearly left my family and God, I was so mad at God. But at that crucial point of confrontation with the Almighty One, two things happened: 1. Someone, only partially aware of my struggle, asked me "Do you love God?" and 2. God, in what I can only call two visions, revealed first, the blackness of what departing from Him meant, and it scared me to death; second, He revealed the blackened heap of crushed humanity  Christ was reduced to when he lay dead, in darkness at the foot of His cross.

And this extrovert can be alone now, knowing communion awaits me soon enough.

Now my comment:

I know you both quote your book's author and make your own comments.  More than several times I have been confused, as I started reading a paragraph, who was speaking - you or the author.  This is a frustration.

You can set off a quote like this gmail feature of indenting the paragraph, or use some other feature to set off your quotes at the start of the quote.

Do you feel like you are called to shepherd these 30 or so men on this list?  Do you sometimes directly address them in emails, or pray for each by name? I assume you do, and that is why I read a frustrated note in your emails - why don't these guys care for and pray for you as much as you care for and pray for them?  The sheep never do, Keith.

Praying for my children and grandchild and your children and grands "Hope in God." These lostlings have yet to be confirmed in their faith and desperately need our intercession!

I have to quit typing now. I am doing this with one finger because my sprained left wrist is worse than ever, and I can't type or eat with it. (had an X-ray - not broken they said.)”

The whole false self, our “lifestyle,” is an elaborate defense against entering our wounded heart. It is a chosen blindness. “Our false self stubbornly blinds each of us to the light and the truth of our own emptiness and hollowness,” says Manning. There are readers who even now have no idea what their wound is, or even what false self arose from it. Ah, how convenient that blindness is. Blissful ignorance. But a wound unfelt is a wound unhealed. We must go in. The door may be your anger; it may be rejection that you’ve experienced, perhaps from a girl; it may be failure, or the loss of the golden bat and the way God is thwarting your false self. It may be a simple prayer: Jesus, take me into my wound.

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 127). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

Remember— masculinity is bestowed by masculinity. But there have been other significant ways in which God has worked— times of healing prayer, times of grieving the wound and forgiving my father. Most of all, times of deep communion with God. The point is this: Healing never happens outside of intimacy with Christ. The healing of our wound flows out of our union with him.

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 128). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?   Masculinity is bestowed by masculinity……..well Eldredge says that you need another man to tell you, that your a man……….. by words and confirmation through action and commitment.  

But do you have that man in your life?  Your friend, who confirms you when your wife or daughter or son makes you feel like sh_t!!!  And then you start to question yourself, lose your confidence, doubt your abilities, sometimes you get angry and sometimes you depressed and very passive and other times you withdraw……..from your wife and your friends and your God?????????????

I really can’t tell you how many times I have heard or been told that my Christian Brothers or other male acquaintances or friends……and that would be Pastors, Millionaire Businessmen, Teachers, Single Men, Married Men, Divorced Men, Homosexual Men, Heterosexual Men, Black, White, Red and Yellow Men…………..…don’t have a real friend……….a male friend who can and will confirm their Masculinity!!  And I can’t tell you how many times, men in my life, have been embarrassed for me to know that they are frail and “made from dust”…………just like me. 

But isn’t that exactly what we need to do………..to the feel the wound and get the healing??? 

But its obvious to me that few of you are seeing the need (see below) since I got zero responses from last week………now that’s a shame!!!!!!

2 Blogs: Feel the Wound - Get the Healing...........and Death Happens!

The whole false self, our “lifestyle,” is an elaborate defense against entering our wounded heart. It is a chosen blindness. “Our false self stubbornly blinds each of us to the light and the truth of our own emptiness and hollowness,” says Manning. There are readers who even now have no idea what their wound is, or even what false self arose from it. Ah, how convenient that blindness is. Blissful ignorance. But a wound unfelt is a wound unhealed. We must go in. The door may be your anger; it may be rejection that you’ve experienced, perhaps from a girl; it may be failure, or the loss of the golden bat and the way God is thwarting your false self. It may be a simple prayer: Jesus, take me into my wound.

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 127). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

Remember— masculinity is bestowed by masculinity. But there have been other significant ways in which God has worked— times of healing prayer, times of grieving the wound and forgiving my father. Most of all, times of deep communion with God. The point is this: Healing never happens outside of intimacy with Christ. The healing of our wound flows out of our union with him.

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (p. 128). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?   Masculinity is bestowed by masculinity……..well Eldredge says that you need another man to tell you, that your a man……….. by words and confirmation through action and commitment.  

But do you have that man in your life?  Your friend, who confirms you when your wife or daughter or son makes you feel like sh_t!!!  And then you start to question yourself, lose your confidence, doubt your abilities, sometimes you get angry and sometimes you depressed and very passive and other times you withdraw……..from your wife and your friends and your God?????????????

I really can’t tell you how many times I have heard or been told that my Christian Brothers or other male acquaintances or friends……and that would be Pastors, Millionaire Businessmen, Teachers, Single Men, Married Men, Divorced Men, Homosexual Men, Heterosexual Men, Black, White, Red and Yellow Men…………..…don’t have a real friend……….a male friend who can and will confirm their Masculinity!!  And I can’t tell you how many times, men in my life, have been embarrassed for me to know that they are frail and “made from dust”…………just like me. 

But isn’t that exactly what we need to do………..to the feel the wound and get the healing??? 

But its obvious to me that few of you are seeing the need (see below) since I got zero responses from last week………now that’s a shame!!!!!!

DEATH HAPPENS!!!……….and you get wounded!

Frederick Buechner’s father committed suicide when he was ten. He left a note, to his mother: “I adore and love you, and am no good . . . Give Freddie my watch. Give Jaime my pearl pin. I give you all my love,” and then he sat in the garage while the running car filled it with carbon monoxide. It happened on a Saturday morning in the fall. He was to have taken Frederick and his brother to a football game that day. Instead, he took himself forever from their lives. What is a ten-year-old boy to do with such an event? A child takes life as it comes because he has no other way of taking it. 

The world had come to an end that Saturday morning, but each time we had moved to another place, I had seen a world come to an end, and there had always been another world to replace it. When somebody you love dies, Mark Twain said, it is like when your house burns down; it isn’t for years that you realize the full extent of your loss. For me it was longer than for most, if indeed I have realized it fully even yet, and in the meantime the loss came to get buried so deep in me that after a time I scarcely ever took it out to look at it at all, let alone speak of it. (The Sacred Journey) 

That is the way we are with our wound, especially men. We bury it deep and never take it out again. But take it out we must, or better, enter into it. 

I entered my wound through the surprising door of my anger. After we moved to Colorado, about eleven years ago, I found myself snapping at my boys for silly things. A spilled glass of milk would elicit a burst of rage. Whoa, John, I thought, there are things going on inside; you’d better have a look under the hood. As I explored my anger with the help of my dear friend Brent, I realized I was so furious about feeling all alone in a world that constantly demanded more of me than I felt able to give. Something in me felt young—young— like a ten-year-old boy in a man’s world but without a man’s ability to come through. There was much fear beneath the surface; fear that I would fail, fear that I would be found out, and finally, fear that I was ultimately on my own. Where did all this fear come from? I wondered. Why do I feel so alone in the world . . . and so young inside? Why does something in my heart feel orphaned?

Eldredge, John (2011-04-17). Wild at Heart Revised and   Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul (pp. 125-126). Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition. 

Just like Frederick Buechner, my father died early when he was 32 and I was only 7.  It wounded me!!  And I am still wounded!  My mother then fell deeper into her alcoholism and the wound got deeper!  And I buried it just like Eldredge and every other young man or young boy.  I was a boy full of fear….not sure of my new Dad at 9 years old.  Afraid to call him Dad for a year or more but finally I did.  Afraid of my mother’s craziness, I became inward, closed, quiet, extremely insecure and very confused!  I was never really pointed to Jesus, just attended the Methodist club and sang in the choir.  But I really never understood my wound and hurt and confusion…….and it only got worse as they split mulitple times and he finally left and moved to Savannah for me to move the family and a drunk mother by myself to Savannah.  Not fun but good for character building.

Sooooo, what’s your story?  You have one ….just like me!  Have you entered the wound?  Have you been healed?  Jesus Stands at the Door and Knocks……..

Learning From My Mistakes in 2011

Quite a year to remember -- 2011.  For many, the year to forget!  But for me, it has been much better than the previous two years.  Proof once again that my God is Faithful when I am Faithless.  I hope I have learned a few things this year but I am stubborn and it always takes time to sink in.

Key points of Learning for 2011 (Random thoughts)

1. The world is mostly Asian.
2. The USA is in a daze and cannot control the future.  USA = $15 trillion deficit, China = $3 trillion surplus. 
3. Zero Debt = Peace of mind.
4. Being able to Give more equals Joy, Peace, Love, Contentment, Fullfillment, Freedom.
5. Being able to Forgive is Difficult but equals Freedom.
6. Harbouring Bitterness reduces your effectiveness to Serve and Give of yourself.
7. People need the Lord.
8. People change because they want to, not because you want them to.
9. Sincere, unconditional Kindness is Rare, but needed. 
10. People, everywhere, appreciate being sincerely appreciated.
11. Men are consumed with Money and act and react like animals for the love of money!
12. Entitlement thinking is the first step to bondage and eventual destruction.
13. I deserve but got life by the Grace of God.  I am entitled to nothing.
14. True Friends are Rare.  Conditional Friends are Common.
15. Children are a Blessing.  Grandchildren are a double blessing and a delight.
16. Fathers never stop thinking about their Daughter's Safety and well being.

These are my first thoughts looking back on 2011.............................more to come.

What is TRUST Worth to You?

I am having a hard time coming up with a value or a price tag. Trust is priceless to me!  It is invaluable!  It is the core of a friendship.  It is the foundation of all my loving relationships.  It is the basis of a comfortable friendship where you can let your hair down and be yourself and laugh and cry..................all out loud if you feel like it!! 

I feel "at home" with people I trust.  I feel "at love" and "in love" with people I trust.  I feel respect with people I trust.  I feel respected with people I trust.  I feel freedom with people I trust......freedom to be me.  I feel real.  I feel relaxed.  I feel honesty and sincerity.  I feel safe and secure.   I feel productive.  I feel welcomed.  I feel truth.  I feel integrity.  I feel vulnerable and open with people I trust......................and I feel the exact opposite with people I don't trust.  And over the years, maybe I have trusted too many people or the wrong people................."wise as serpents and harmless as doves".  Or maybe, I haven't trusted enough people??  Perhaps I have been too suspicious?

Which group do you think I like to hang with??  But, unfortunately, you can't always hang with the people you trust.  You have to go to work and pay bills and sit on airplanes and participate in groups and meetings and problem solve and ........ you fill in the blank.

But how do we know who to trust?  What are the characteristics or attributes of a trustworthy person??  I have given this lecture and asked these questions to my daughters many times.  Are all people on this planet worthy of our trust?  Should all people be treated equally when it comes to trust?  Should trust be earned and granted immediately?  I believe Some people are not worthy of our trust.  But how do you know who they are?  What do they look like?  Where do they come from?  What political party do they represent?  What religion are they?  Does skin color matter or nationality?  You have probably heard comments like these in the past....... ie.  Muslims are never to be trusted again!!!  Or..."I got offended by a Baptist Preacher once in 1978 and I will never trust Baptist Preachers again."  I certainly don't have the answers!

Have you ever been manipulated and hurt by someone you trusted?  Have YOU ever hurt or manipulated someone who trusted you?  If you are honest, you will probably say YES to both questions.  This planet is full of Manipulators, Pathological Liars, Gain Seekers, Cheaters, Swindlers........self-absorbed, self-centered folks who will hurt almost anyone, anytime, anywhere, to reach their selfish objectives and protect themselves  And of course I am humbled by the words..............."Such were some of you."  (1 Cor 6:11)

So Trust is tricky.  You become vulnerable and open to be hurt and manipulated.  It is scary to trust someone you don't know well but very comforting to trust someone you have no doubt has your very best interest in mind.  Maybe it is your wife or your mother or father or best friend??  Whoever it is, you feel the love and the committment.   You feel safe and secure in that love and there is nothing like it.  How many people do you really trust??  If you are like me, it is the same answer to the question of how many real friends do I have.  It is fewer than we realize.   But when they come into your life or prove themselves over time that they are trustworthy, it is sweet and priceless.  Trust is priceless and people in your life who are trustworthy are more precious than silver or gold................and when you find them, you'd better hold on tight!!!

Looking back over the years, I recall people who have trusted me with their money, their love, their secrets, their sins, weaknesses, faults, shame, embarassments, guilt and disappointments.  What an awesome responsibility to know that I have gained someone's trust and they are counting on me not to break it.  I wish I could say that I have always been trustworthy but I haven't.  But over the years I have learned how valuable trust is to me causing me to realize how valuable it is to others.  But as we fail each other time and time again on this planet, I am reminded of an old song praising the most trustworthy person in the universe...............

Trust and obey,

For there's no other way

To be happy in Jesus,

But to trust and obey.

Jesus has never let me down.  He has never lied to me.  He has never betrayed me.  He has never swindled or cheated me...................and He has never manipulated me.  But so often, I fail and refuse to trust and obey Him.  Why not Trust the One who is truly worthy of our Trust?  God help me to trust and be trustworthy!

Do You Keep a Record of Wrongs?

I certainly do! I file it away under "Pity Party" and pull it out often to feel sorry for myself or to feel superior to others. It helps me justify my own issues and shortcomings. I think to myself, "I am not so bad....I would never do this or that or what he or she did to me."

This topic has really been a tough one for me! I have been thinking about it for months and just could not bring myself to write about it because I am so lousy at forgiving and moving on with life. I hold grudges and I bring it up often to feel sorry for myself and justify my own selfish actions. We taught our kids......"Do not return evil for evil." But as adults, we do it often and always justify it. I have struggled with this issue in both my business life and personal life for all of my life and I seldom have victory over it.

Don Henley is right in "Heart of the Matter"...........

Ah, these times are so uncertain

There's a yearning undefined

And people filled with rage

We all need a little tenderness

How can love survive in such a graceless age?

What are people yearning for? Why are we so angry? Why are we so unsure of the future? Why are we so hard and tough? What happened to grace?

Has anyone ever been gracious and forgiving to you when you least deserved it? How did it make you feel? How did you react? Were you humbled? Humiliated? Surprised? Thankful? And yet, often we can't forgive those who have hurt and disappointed us. We carry grudges and we won't let them go. I am struggling with that issue right now with family and friends and as I said earlier, I seem to seldom have victory over it.

Henley says more......................

There are people in your life who've come and gone

They let you down, you know, they hurt your pride

You better put it all behind you Baby, cause life goes on

If you keep carryin' anger, it'll eat you up inside, Baby.

I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter

But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter

But I think it's about Forgiveness, Forgiveness

Even if, even if, you don't love me.

So Forgiveness is a Decision.....YOUR Decision......MY Decision..............but if you don't do it, that sore spot will fester, turn cancerous, and eat your organs from within, primarily your heart. Do you know any older, cynical people who continue to tell the same old, cynical stories of how they got shafted and why they are entitled? Entitled to sue, entitled to hold the grudge for life, entitled to complain about their "lot in life", entitled to be miserable and make others the same. By the Grace of God, I do not want to live that lonely life of cynicism and negativity so I am remembering, almost every day, how much I have been forgiven and it is humbling.

..............and by the Grace of God, I am tearing up, piece by piece, those "records of wrongs", and being freed up to love and forgive others!!!

Make a Decision..................Go Forgive someone today!

Who needs Friends?

I do! But most people can count their real friends on one hand. Why is that? Many reasons. My wife and I had this discussion tonight concerning real friends. Do you have any? What do they look like? How do you know they are real friends? Is there a special formula?

I really dislike Facebook for this very reason. Their definition of Friends. How many Friends do you have on Facebook. One of my daughters has 789 facebook friends. So what does that mean? So as I discussed this issue with my wife, I realized I probably only have 5 or 6 real friends...........so I'm not as popular as my daughter.......no doubt......I am certainly not as exciting and interesting. She is the most famous person I know. Maybe that's why she has so many friends.

But I think Facebook Friends are different from real friends. Perhaps they are just acquaintances or "friendly" people or nice people or funny or charming or pretty or handsome or _________ .............. you feel in the blank.......but are they friends who would lay it all down for you when you need them?? Friends who would give up their vacation to be with you?? Friends who would sacrifice their own wants and desires for you?? Friends who would sincerely pray for you and share their love for you, openly and freely?? Friends who would give to you without ever considering the cost?? Ok, you are right, I just changed the criteria.

The more I think about it now, that 5 or 6 just got reduced to two and one is not even on this planet. Well.................my daughter has got me beat by a long shot..........at least on Facebook. I only have one friend listed on Facebook because she is the only true Friend I have ever had on this planet. How do I know..........well that's another posting......

And my other friend.........................He reminds me of a simple song............What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear.....what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.

Thank God for Friends!!!